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Merry Christmas Anyway

by Bryan A. Thompson

Written 12/2005

Updated 12/25/2007

 

 

Update:  Two years have passed and nothing has changed.

This story was removed at the demands of my family, who could care less about me.  Since this isn't what they really wanted, it won't change anything.  What they really want is to make up lies to tell their children about me.  It's what I get for trying to do something nice for my niece and nephew like buying them a computer that they wouldn't otherwise be able to have.  Don't worry - I learned my lesson alright.  

Merry Christmas Anyway!

 

 

Top 10 Things Bryan got for Christmas 2005

 10.  Some leftover shotgun shells from the 1950s.

  9.  A car part I didn't need.

  8.  A T shirt from Alaska that says "When nature calls" and shows a bunch of woodland creatures in the restroom (classy, I know, since mom picked it out on their cruise).

  7.  Another Alaska shirt that has "Ketchikan" embroidered on the front. 

  6.  A 15lb box of cookies made by grandma and Haley.  They were all these misshaped snowmen, candles, wreaths, and circles (a 6oz juice glass, I'm guessing).  They were delicious by all accounts.

  5.  $297 cash.

  4.  A black tie with a silver bouncing ball and the bounce trail on the front.

  3.  Another T shirt from Alaska identical to #8 that says "When nature calls" and shows a bunch of woodland creatures in the restroom (classy, I know, since mom picked it out on their cruise).

  2.  A huge Nativity set.  Traded it for a candy bar.

  And the number one weird item Bryan got this Christmas...

  1.  A vibrator.  Really.  Remember that back massager you were asking me about?  We've got one now.  No idea WTF they were thinking, but that wasn't something I was going to ask, either.  I tore up a shoulder about 6 months ago - still can't sleep on that side - hope that's why... 

 

Merry Christmas anyway.


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