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The Slow (Late) Mugger
Written by Bryan A. Thompson
March 1998
[Authors comment: This is the second of the stories that I wrote, before I started to put them in script form. The following is a copy of a correspondence I sent to a friend of mine in March, 1997. It's been edited only for readability purposes, and complete email send logs are available on request. No real big deal, the gang standing around making fun of a mugger, but it's the second time he's taken one of my ideas, and it was used in the last of the Seinfeld episodes.]
The Slow Mugger
Elaine and Kramer are walking, and they're confronted by a mugger not yet ready to rob them, like he just got up or something. Maybe have his hair mussed or something. He fishes through his pockets furiously trying to find his knife or gun or whatever, maybe he thinks he has on the other coat, or forgot his weapon or whatever. Then he finally finds it, and in a commanding voice, says something politically correct to the effect of, "Give it up, Motherfucker". All the while, Elaine is asking questions like, "Are we to understand that we're being robbed?" and "How do you know it was US that you wanted to rob?" (I haven't figured out the answer to this one yet - maybe he says he staked them out, but it took a really long time because he kept missing them - late gain) and "How can you be late to mug someone?" Kramer, of course, takes the whole thing seriously, that's why he's in the scene, and he overreacts to all the movements that the mugger makes. Maybe Elaine realizes that he's just gotten up, and says something to that effect, then Kramer says to be compassionate, the fact that he's never on time is why he can't hold down a job. Then after he leaves, Kramer chases him down and gives the robber his watch. This is so cool! I can see the whole scene so clearly in my mind that its scaring me. And its funny! And its exactly the kind of thing they do. Still have to some up with 3-4 more plots to fill the episode, but that shouldn't be too hard.
Subject: Re: Picture of Princess Leia in new SI swimsuit issue...In-Reply-To: <3.0.32.19970227210708.00699b2c@pop3.umr.edu>Message-ID: <Pine.BSI.3.95.970228123946.6991A-100000@usr06.primenet.com>MIME-Version: 1.0Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCIIStatus: OX-Status:
Hiya Tiger- The Pez dispenser came out of nowhere. All the gags start somewhere. I wasn't suggesting that the mugging scene be the entire show, thats why I proposed intertwining it with 4-5 other subplots in my original description of the scene. As far as being depressing, yes, the idea of getting mugged is fairly depressing by itself. But not when you take into account the fact that they're not actually being mugged till the very end of the scene, and the whole time they don't know they're being mugged, and they're making fun of the mugger. I discount the thought that its wholly depressing. Take care, I'll write more after I get some lunch into me.